So, they're making an Atlas Shrugged movie, and they are seriously considering casting Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as John Galt and Dagny Taggart. Whoa.

I mean, I realize that they do, in some way, represent the American dream of clawing your way into the coveted Weekly World News, but I just can't really picture it. Well, I couldn't picture it, until I made some very special Brad-Pitt-as-John-Galt-in-Atlas-Shrugged-The-Movie picturing aids. See below.

Thanks to Peter A. for this one

Whoa.

- Sam

I thought that my computer was melting, so I turned it off and dusted it out and checked everything twice.

Turns out my neighbours were just cooking hotdogs.

I once had a dream that Einstein was throwing his eyebrows at me, like Zeus throwing his bolts of lightning.

Turns out I was just inhaling cotton balls in my sleep.

  
                   EPILOGUE - The Warriors Ending
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
  After your bloody duel with the huge Dragon, your first inpulse is to rip
  it's head off and bring it town.  Carefull thought reveals it is much to
  big for your horse, so that plan is moot.  Your second notion is bring back
  the childrens bones.  Bags and bags of them for proper barial, but you
  realize this would only cause the towns inhabitants MORE pain.  You
  finally decide on the Dragons heart.  After adding ten years to your
  swords life, you finally chip off enough scales to wallow in the huge
  beasts insides.

  When you are finished, and fit the still heart in a gunny sack you brought,
  (who would have thought this would be its use?) you make your way back to
  town.  As you share your story to a crowd of excited onlookers, this crowd
  becomes a gathering, and this gathering becomes an assemblage, and this
  assemblage becomes a multitude!

  This multitude nearly becomes a mob, but thinking quick, you make a
  speech.

  "PEOPLE!" your voice booms.  "It is true I have ridden this town of
  it's curse, the Red Dragon.  And this is his heart."

  You dump the bloody object onto the ground.  From the back, Barak's
  voice is heard.  "How do we know where you got that thing?  It looks
  like you skinned a sheep!"  A flicker of annoyance crosses your face,
  but you force a smile.  "Why Barak, would you doubt me?  A LEVEL 12
  warrior?  If I am not mistaken, you are quite a bit lower, still at level
  two, eh?"

  Barak gives you no more trouble, and you are declared a hero by all.
  Violet tops off the evening by giving you a kiss on the cheek, and a
  whisper of things to come later that night makes even you almost
  blush.  Almost.

             Thanks for being tough enough to win the game,
                 and thank your sysop for registering!

                              -Seth Able

          

Swwwwwwweet! My Pocket Famicom finally arrived from Japan! I've been waiting since 1986, damn it!

Now, now, hold on a minute. There's a good reason I bought a brand new Famicom. No, really! Well, listen up. Here's my plan. See all those kids running around with Sony PSPs and parents who buy them way too much stuff for their (or my) own good? Now I hold the perfect retort for their miserable shiny toys. I will blind them with a seven-inch golden Legend of Zelda cartridge jammed into my portable Famicom. The parents will hear that Zelda music, and nod approvingly as I belittle the children with my awesome Famicom might.

That is all. Good day.